GRIEF HELP

Dealing with the loss of a pet is not easy. In addition to providing first-rate on-site services that honor your pet and offer a dignified farewell, we at Heaven's Pets at Lake Lawn Metairie Cremation and Bereavement Center want to help you through your grief. Here are some websites, books and advice from our facility’s grief counselor.

   1. Sources on the Web
   2. Books with Your Grief in Mind
   3. Heaven's Pets at Lake Lawn Metairie's Good Grief Tips 

Sources on the Web
www.vetmed.iastate.edu/animals/petloss/grieving.html
www.petlossservices.com

Books with Your Grief in Mind 

• Animals on the Other Side  

Sylvia Browne and Chris Dufresne: New York Times number one bestselling author Sylvia Browne and her son share a comforting account of a pet's passing from one life to the next. They explain how animals enjoy eternal happiness alongside those who love them and answer many questions pet lovers ponder at their loved one's passing. This book, great for those mourning the death of a pet, can be found at Heaven's Pets for $18.50.

• Healing Your Heart When your Animal Friend is Gone: A Children’s Pet Bereavement Workbook  
  Kimberly A. Cardeccia
  
• Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet  
  Moira K. Anderson

• Saying Good-Bye to the Pet You Love: A Complete Resource to help You Heal  
  Lorri A.
  
• Pet Loss and Human Bereavement  
  William J. Kay, Herbert A. Neiburg, Austin H. Kutscher and Ross M. Grey Greene
  
• When a Pet Dies  
  Fred Rogers
  
• Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who has Ever Lost a Pet  
  Gary Kowalski
  
• Grieving the Death of a Pet  
  Betty J. Carmack
  
• When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing  
  Alan D. Wolfelt and Alan D. Wolfelt Ph.D.

Heaven’s Pets at Lake Lawn Metairie’s Good Grief Tips
The following “Good Grief Tips” are provided by our in-house grief and bereavement counselor Sharon Henry.

Don’t brow beat yourself. When you hear yourself thinking or saying shoulda, coulda or woulda, STOP!!! You are unnecessarily adding to your misery. And you are not helping anything: not yourself, not your deceased pet, nor anyone else. When you begin to blame yourself, say “It would have been nice if I had done things differently, but actually, I did the best I could at the time with what I had. If I could have done better…I would have done better.

Don’t drive yourself crazy with “If Only.” That’s something else people drive themselves crazy with. When you hear yourself saying “If only…” STOP!!! Instead, try thinking: “Yes I wish things had gone differently, but they didn’t. Now I’m focusing on how I can be the best I can be. I’m not going to waste my day “past-urizing” or futurizing!”

Face it, embrace it and grace it. Face all your feelings whether it’s grief, fear or loneliness. Then, embrace them; don’t condemn them. Don’t feel wrong because you still feel sad, bad or mad. When we accept these feelings as normal and natural, the negative feelings lessen, and eventually they’ll fade.
That’s when “Grace It” comes into play. What is left is a feeling of gratitude to your pet. He/she loved you unconditionally. In place of the misery you felt when your beloved pet died, you can now pass that love on to other people and pets. Perhaps your gratitude will led to your doing volunteer work in the community, or being more loving in your everyday life, to honor and remember your pet.

Thought stoppage-thought substitution. At some point, you may feel you need to move on; that you can not endure any more grieving. That could be premature, or it could be entirely accurate. Each time you are flooded with guilt, anger or an emotion that overwhelms you, train yourself to say, “STOP!” Then as if you had just erased a chalkboard, picture a new, comforting thought such as seeing your pet dancing in heaven, pouring blessings down upon you! Feel the good feelings that would be there if that were so! The ore you do this, the easier it becomes.

Other substitutions. Think about something funny your pet used to do, then belly laugh. Think about something you could do to better all animals’ lives, and how your pet would like that. Feel the good feeling knowing  your pet is proud of you!!!